Tuning into our Yeses and Nos

Inspired Family Chiropractic Blog

In a world that promotes all things “self-love”, I really have been on a journey myself to figure out what that means for me. As an office, we decided to dedicate our social media and internal marketing efforts at Inspired to be more intentional in showing ourselves love this month.

It’s been fun! It’s interesting to see how difficult it is for our community to do something as simple as writing one thing they love about themselves.

It got me thinking, how do we really learn to show ourselves, love? Unfortunately, we live in a culture that has taught us to put others’ needs above our own. To work ourselves into burnout, and to live without contentment.

At least that’s my experience. We have become so disassociated from ourselves. That when our body sends signals whether it be pain or “gut feelings” we ignore it until we can’t.

Dr. Nicole Clark sitting on desk smiling

My Self Love Journey

For the season I am in, I’ve dedicated so many resources to healing in the last 6 months.

Of course, I get regular Chiropractic care by getting adjusted once a week. But I also decided to invest in my mental health and work through some childhood trauma, deep loss, and relational trauma.

I began weekly therapy. Committed to a pilates studio and meditation about 4-5 days a week. And started intense energy healing work.

It’s been a financial commitment of course. But ultimately the time and effort I have been putting into my healing process has been pretty extensive. It’s bigger than some of the small things we’ve been challenging y’all to do every day—but all the small efforts add up too. I think we need it all.

One of the biggest questions I’ve been asking myself in this journey has been what are the yeses and the nos for my body.

I want to be a little vulnerable on this topic. Because although a yes or no can be as simple as the question of “what do I want to eat today”.

For most of us it’s deeper, harder questions that we need to be asking ourselves.

  • Does this situation, relationship, or friendship feel safe? 
  • Does this movement feel good in my body?
  • Does eating this way bring me joy?
  • What does a “yes” feel like?
  • What does a “no” feel like?

My Yeses and Nos

Some examples of “yeses” for me are the feelings of finishing a pilates class, dancing to country music in the mornings with my pup, enjoying my morning coffee, or enjoying a glass of wine with friends outside.

My “nos” are forcing a workout or movement that doesn’t feel good in my body. Keeping a friendship that is taking more energy than it’s giving. Or staying in a marriage or relationship that doesn’t feel emotionally safe.

These may feel obvious. But I can admit firsthand how easy it is to get into the mundane of life. And normalize something that feels like a “no” even though our brain rationalizes it into a “yes”.

The danger of this is when we dishonor the instinct of our body over time. We no longer trust our instincts, and we become disconnected from our true selves. Life has a way of bringing challenges as a gift to bring us back into our bodies. But what if we learned to manage that ourselves?

We’d be so much better off learning to navigate these hard things if we were healthier versions of ourselves inside and out.

Neurology of Self Love

Our bodies are 100% dependent on the nervous system having clear communication from the brain to the body, but over time as we’ve undergone stress over the years, we learn to ignore communicative cues from within.

We build stress patterns that trigger responses and repeated outcomes that we actually don’t want. Whether that be the pain patterns like what we see every day in our office, or that be the anxiety or relational outcomes that we are trying to break.

Our bodies are brilliant and are created to have connections between the gut, heart, and head. In a world of brilliant minds, we have allowed the patterns of what our brain has learned to dictate how we show up in the world and for ourselves.

The most basic element of our brain neurology is that every experience is stored, and over time our brain learns how to adapt based upon previous experiences. Like many things, our world has advanced tremendously in the last few decades. We now have resources available to us to question behavioral patterns, work through childhood trauma (yes, we all got it), and normalize honoring our hearts and those around us.

The Final Self Love Challenge

I want to challenge you as we finish up the 28 days of the Self Love Challenge to dig into what it really means to love yourself.

It means honoring your body in every aspect, it means talking to yourself from a space of love, and it means investing in yourself. Whether you show love to your body by starting Chiropractic care, starting that nutrition class, or starting weekly therapy. Or maybe it’s all of it!

All these things tell your brain that you are worth the time and money to invest in, to become the best version of you.

Inspired was opened to support the effort of our community becoming your best you. If you’d like some of my more personal referrals, I would love to share them.

I do see a therapist and an energy healer, but they are at capacity. I would love to help you find similar support if that’s something you need. Here are some of my other favorite resources that have helped me tremendously, many are local, I hope they can be helpful for you too!

Let’s grow love for ourselves, so we can love each other better. 

Xx Dr. Nicole